the great rice-catastrophe
by shotacastiel
Summary: castiels craving some rice, so dean decides to make a pie for his man. meanwhile, sams working on his sabotage-like plan.


"Hello Cas" Says dean he opens his mouth and he says Whats up Castiel says "Hey Baby Whats up Deany" Castiel walks over and says "I crave some rice."

"Wow. sounds nice babe" dean says. "I'm hungry for some pie.. maybe i can find a way to cook Rice Pie. Rice Rice Baby"

Cas opens the pantry some demons Crawl out fog comes out of pantry "Looks like we're out of food , u have to go to that thing what do you call it?" "it's a grocery store, Castiel. Look it up u dumbo"

"Dean u told me not to touch ur computer. last time i did i came" If u Know what i mean." cas whispered. "wow cas gross thanks or telling me that I didn't Know That God Watch your Fucking Tone Young lady"

"OK ILETS GO!" Says cas he makes his way through the doorway "Wtf castiel that's the wrong door  
" It was too late. Many creaturse stampeded through the door. "Please watch what door you open ext time. This is the right door," Dean says as he points to a sinister looking door. "Thx" sasy cas he walks to impala"DON'T U FUCKIN DARE DRIVE THAT" says dean "Dnt worry I got drivers license "

"NO dOTN TOUCH HER I LOVE HER WAY MOR ETHEN I LoVE U U GAY AANGEL BACK OFF" DEAN HISSED AS CAS OPENED THE DRIVERS DOOR TO THE IMALA. "GOD FINE DEAN GOSH I JUST WANTED To IMPRESS U WITH MY DRIVING KSILLES JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY"

"Ok" Dean sashays past Castiel and goes behind the wheel" "Get in loser" "Shut up with the meangirls references " "OK just get in thanx Castiel U don't have to be so mean" They get in car and Dean revs up the engine. All you need is love by the beatles starts playing. Cas looks at dean expectantly and dean Flips his hair not noticing cas, "Please flip the cassette tap" Says dean

"WERE HERE WERE WHER EHEHRYEH !" CAS YELLED "FINALLY GoD BELESS" castle was filled with excitement. he has never been to a ~store~ before. "LOOK DEAN LOOK LOOk lOOK LOOK'" the rice was on sale. therefore. when u walked in the door. it was. right there. "Dean THis Is mY Lucky Day homie"

"CASTIEL THAT IS NOT RICE THOSE ARE CRICKET EGGS" shouted Dean A bunch of women looked at them "Do u see those cute men?" Says one girl "Shut the fuck up they will look at us look how clueless that guy with the stubble is" "Ok" They walk off. "see what u did." Sasys dean "Sorry ok heres some actual rice" says castiel as he Skips to the shelves

"oOh ym god Its SO Petty Its like CRAFTSMANWORK ITS LITTLE GRAINS ITS BEUTIFUL THANK U SO MUCH DEAN" castiel said in awe. "Ur Welcome Cute" dean whispered . SAM BURST THROUGH THE MARKET DOORS. "U FUCKERS FORGOT ABOUT ME " SAM SCREECHED. "sry samshine" cas said. "CAS DONT CALL HIM THAT IM UR ONLY SUNSHINE GOSH EVEN AFYER I BOUGHT U RICE JESUS"

"Thanx" Says castiel. He looks at more items "Wats lingerie? Wat in the wolrd " Cas walks through the forest of bras and thongs "WATS GOING ON." CAstiel starts muttering a Chant Wind starts to blow "Alooyaaattt Iiiiaahhhh Whauuahhammammaa Hooahaha Swagueuw Yolamna" He Yells. The bras catch on fire. "Sorry for inconveincene " Says castiel "They had evil spirits inside."

"what the fuck cas why would u do that i was going to buy those stockings i had a surprise planned for u tonight u dickbag" dean sighed loudly. "Sorry Dean. we can go to… Wall-mart? ? Buy u some." castiel soothed. "No cas it Ok u don't know what walmart is we will just go home and Make the rice pie" "ok dean kun"

"Wait" Castiel Squawks"We forgot pie crust" "AW SHIT MAN I TOTOALYL FORGOT DAMN THANX CASTIEL I AM VERY PROUD OF U LOV U" "I enjoy your presence as well, Dean. I love you too" sam comes back with pie crust" Here yo all losers go look what I got while you guys were Getin all lovey dovie up in here!" Sam holds pie crust like baby "Lets go home" They get into the impala "Wait a second sam u weren't in the car when we came here" "I walked, thanks." Sam says as a single drop of sweat drips down his brow

"Oh." dean mumbled. "Srry". "nah Man ITs Ok." sam said but hs actually really pissed off and Secretly bought radish flavored pie crust.

They get home dean crashes through doors "LETS BACK SOME PIE" says dean his mouth watering "Whoa there dean u r looking like a mad Dog" "SHUT UP SAM" He says as he throws a bag of rice at sam"Wtf man" They turn on oven. Dean mixes rice with Milk. He puts in some whipped cream and ketchup. "Dean do u know what ur doing" says sam Castiel stares at deans butt

"wow… dean has… such…. a nice,,,, booty." castiel thought to himself. "YEs Sam I KNOW WHAT IM DOING GOD FUCK JESUS CHRIST CALM URSELF STOP BOTHERING ME AND TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD I SAW THIS RECIPE ON PAULA DEAN ONCE GOSH" DEAN HISSED. "fuckin douche" sam mumbled.. pleased with himself because of the radish crust

Dean pours the concoction into the crust that he did not know was vegetable radish flavored "I can smell it. I can smell me tasting it" "Don't get ur hopes up too high" Sam says with a Giant smile on his face! CAstiel squawks like a crow "DAMN IT DEAN STOP IT" "?" Says dean "Stop with the butt"

"castiel did u just admit to staring at my butt" dean said. "no" "maybe" "no" "yes". "its really plush and attractive dean I'm sorry". cas whispered. "wow cas. thats. Rly hot. i would have hot counter bottom sex with you but I'm making a rice pie and it would burn and sams here sorry" dean Sighed. a tear escaped from castiels eye, disappointed.

"Yo its fine dean its all cool bae" Says Castiel he makes handmotions "Castiel you need to stop watching rap videos online, I knew what um eant when you said that thing earlier" "Ok" Sam looks at dean to castiel. "Please Go on" HE saysSAm puts on apron and puts the pie into the oven "STOP!" DEAN STAMMERS. THAT IS VERY CAERFUL VERY FRAGILE YOU WILL BREAK THE PIE TIN."They put the pie into the oven very careful

"ok Now What do we do dean. Do we do the do?" castiel asked. "no u dumbo i just told u i will burn the pie diggity damn cas u need to work on ur listening skills how the frick". cas looked at the floor. "sorry : (" castiel pleaded. "Its Ok" "this is fucking boring fuck this shit I'm sending us into the future" castiel sent them 20 minutes into the future. the pie was done. "Ok TIme to eat" sam grinned : )

Castiel makes pie levitate out of the ovem "I didn't know u could do that says dean"YA I learned it at a nightschool a few weeks ago" They bite into the pie. "whats this?" Dean says. Narrowing his eyes

"WAHD THE FRICKATOO" castiel screeched. "TAKE TASTES BANANNAS NASTY" "cas. i. i don't know what went wrong.d…." dean said with tears streaming from his eyeballs. "i did the recipe,,, exac-" dean took another bite. "ITs THE CRUST" castiel and dean gasped. the both pointed there fingers to sam.

"sam" he says "We need totalk." Dean says as he wipes tears off his face. CAstiel is crying in the corner. The stove catches on fire. "Explain" dean says his eyes turning into fire. "Hey dean says sam I think you have something in your eye" "FfFff!" Says dean "Hehe le trolleddd.." Sasy sam

"haha. i bamboozled u guys yet again." sam said. "the crust. its radish crust. not pie crust. I can't believe u didn't notice! #YOLO #TROLLED #SWAG". sam chuckled. "what the fuck sam. u made my boyfriend cry." dean hissed as he hugged and comforted cas. "U should be ashamed of urself" dean said.

Castiel starts to grow larger and larger he breaks the house. "Wtf CASTIEL, THIS WAS A LOT OF MONEY TO RENT" "SORRY CANT HELP IT I GROW WHEN I AM BERVOUS" He Breathes fire "This isn't normal…."  
Dean kisses Cas on the knee (he could only reach that up) Please calm Castiel shrinks to human size. Soryr. He says

"what the fuck was that cas" dean hissed. "Well…. when a.. Angel. Get nervous. they grow. like green giant. but I'm allergic to radishes too. so." cas said depressingly. dean was very angry. it was time to unleash hell. "WAHT HE fYCK SAM U POISONE DMY BOYFRIEND NOT COOL FiRST THE PUIEl ,,, NOW MY ANGEl,,, NOT COOL WWO WI CANT BELIEVE WERe RELATED SOMETIMES GoD DAMNIT HOW cOUDL U DO THAT TO HIM HE JUST WANEYD FUCKKING RICE AND I WAS GOIGN TO MKE HIM A PIE WIT IT AND U US DECIDED To SKREW IT UP LIKE YOYR FUCKING SHREK OR SOME SHIT" DEAN YELLED

A spotlight goes to dean "Yknow sam. This exact same thing happened when we were kids, you know? I baked a pie and you decided to put A cockroach in it." Dean flips his hair "I will get you back one day" His eyes gleam "dean I am concerned" says castiekl,.

"Why are u Concerned" dean mumbled. "U ARe Scaring me." castiel cried. "i,,,, I'm sorry! 1 ! ! ! ! ! ! I I - I DIDT MEAN TO cASSY I PROMISE IM SORRY PLEAsE DORGIVE ME ITS ALL SAMS FAULT *POINTS FINGER* HE RUINED THE PIE AND IT MADE U SICK IM GOIGN TO TAKE cARE OF U I PROMIS ILL MAKE I UP TO YOU IM SO SORRY PEAsE FORGivE mE IM SUCH A FUCK UP iM SORRY CAS * LEAPS INTO CASTIELS ARMS* *MAKES OUT* IM SORRY"

They continue To kiss. Castiel explodes. He exploded of nervous ness Everything goes dark. Applasise happens. Single spotlight goes to sam "Guess u could say.. It ended with a big bang" Sam laugsh dean laughs Large castiel laughs music plays the end


End file.
